Hi, I'm Alexandra and this is my new natural recovery lifestyle...

Hello! Thanks for popping by.

I'm Alexandra and this is my first blog entry... ever.

I've decided to start blogging because I've been through a pretty crazy journey over the last eight months or so; some days have been horrific and others uplifting and energising. This is my experience of the sudden and very unexpected onset of an autoimmune disease (still undiagnosed but probably multiple sclerosis) age 31. This is my journey through shock and denial to pro-activity and positivity. I primarily wanted to blog because I hope my musings can give some comfort and encouragement to others in similar situations, but whoever you are and whatever your situation, I hope you enjoy the read! Please leave me a comment if you'd like, I'd love to hear from you.

So first up, here is my story...

One evening after work in March 2014 I met two friends for dinner. It was a great evening, spent catching up, munching steak and sharing wine. But as I was walking home through Islington in London, I noticed that the traffic on the road to my right didn't look right. Everything on that side of my vision had suddenly gone double. Initially I put it down to the wine and the fact that I was exhausted from another busy week at work. However when I woke up and my right eye was still seeing double, I knew this wasn't normal. I tried to carry on as normal, squinting with one eye open so I could see my laptop properly and even managed to fly to Scotland and back to interview someone (one-eyed!) Unfortunately with the dodgy vision came intense headaches. Trying to get to the bottom of the problem, I first went to the optician who thought it could be a problem with wearing the wrong prescription contact lenses. I was sceptical, but tried new prescription lenses for a few days anyway. When that didn't work, I went to see my GP. She didn't know what it was either, suggesting perhaps it was just a migraine (which I had never had before). Thankfully she referred me to a neurologist. A couple of days later, I was sitting in the neurologist's waiting room with Nick, my husband, who was trying to stop me frantically googling potential diagnoses. The charming neurologist did some quick tests (including knocking my knee with a hammer which I didn't realise was an actual medical test!) He told me that it looked like something (probably a virus) was affecting my nerves, and that was why my vision wasn't functioning properly.

Two weeks later, I was lying in a pristine white hospital room waiting to go into a MRI scan 'tunnel'. Both Nick and my mum were in the waiting room for moral support (and to grill the radiologist about the dangers of MRI scans in my mum's case!) The worst bit of that experience for me was without doubt the injection (I'm petrified of needles- or at least I was before they became a more frequent occurrence for me!)

The three of us huddled back into the neurologist's office two days later to receive the results. I wasn't prepared for seeing the insides of my brain on a black and white x-ray type film. Big and small blot-like white circles appeared amongst the walnut-like squiggles you'd expect from a brain image. The neurologist explained that these were signs of swelling in my brain, likely caused by an unknown virus. I can't remember much more of what he said because I had to get a glass of water, and then he told me I should lie down because I looked like I was about to faint! We headed home, via the cake shop at the end of our road (I've been brought up to believe that tea and cake always the answer in times of trouble :))

Work responded to the news by telling me to take some time off so I could try to let my body recover. So I spent the next couple of weeks cocooned in bed or on the sofa in our London flat, sleeping lots and occasionally 'watching' tv with my eyes closed. After a few weeks, my vision came back to normal and the headaches subsided. But I was left with an overwhelming sense of tiredness and significant anxiety about what was happening to me. I tried to get back to my normal life so I went back to work and tried to carry on as normal. But some days, I seemed to have no energy at all and staying awake more than a few hours was a real challenge, only accomplishable with buckets of strong coffee. Every tingle in my body was cause for more concern; what was happening in my brain?! As I kept trying to push myself, my body struggled to keep up. I had daily panic attacks and constant headaches became the norm.

At the end of July 2014, the time came for my second MRI scan to review progress of the swelling. I went into the scan feeling confident that it would be good news; my vision was back to normal and although I was still feeling much more tired than usual, I was certainly lots better than before. So when the neurologist told me that although the initial swelling had reduced, new areas of swelling had occurred, I was genuinely shocked. He explained that this suggested that the cause was less likely to be a virus, and more likely to be the early stages of multiple sclerosis (MS). Somehow the second set of results was easier for me to digest than the first. I guess some unconscious part of me must have prepared myself to take in the news, because I certainly wasn't consciously prepared!

The neurologist told me that there could be an option to start taking MS drugs straight away, if that was the path I wanted to take. But I didn't want to commit to a lifetime of drugs without even having a definite diagnosis (and my fear of injections didn't help either!) I left that appointment feeling a strange sense of positivity, that this was something that wouldn't break me. I've knew I was amazingly lucky to have Nick, my mum, and a wider circle of brilliantly supportive friends and family. I decided to take a positive and proactive approach to getting myself back to full health... only at that point I had no idea what that would involve!

This blog is my way of recording the lifestyle changes I've made and am yet to make, and my experiences of how well they work for me. If you're going through something similar, I hope this helps to inspire your own recovery path. If you're not, I hope you pick up some healthy tips and enjoy the read!

Love,

Alexandra x

PS - please do leave me a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts!