Weeks are flying past me at the moment as we try to get our
new house habitable in any spare time around work. I'm feeling guilty for not
having written for so long! I promised to tell you a bit about mindfulness, and
actually I think it’s pretty appropriate at such a busy time, because the times
in your life when you have no time or focus for mediation are actually the times
when it can help you the most. So it seems appropriate to write about it as everyone is rushing around getting ready for Christmas, family visiting or whatever you might be celebrating at this time of year :)
Before this summer I’d heard about mindfulness through my
work in leadership development; for some it’s a buzzword for helping people to
handle the stress and strains of complex jobs. Whilst some people might write
it off as a fad or something for hippies, there is a growing bank of evidence
that being mindful improves mental well-being. It’s even used to treat
depression and a recent study showed it to be as effective as medication.
So what is it? There are billions of definitions for
mindfulness. This is one of my favourites (by James Baraz):
“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening
right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without
holding onto it when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant
without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
I've recently finished an eight week course (with the London Mindfulness Project who I’d definitely recommended). The course was a mixture of theory and
practice, with ‘homework’ involving practising different types of mediation and
bringing mindfulness into our everyday lives, eating, commuting and
communicating. I thought I’d share with you three benefits I've felt. If you
are interested perhaps you’ll do a mindfulness course too!
Recognising thinking patterns
One of the most interesting things we did together was
becoming aware of our thinking patterns. Rather than just letting ourselves
think about random stuff as we go about our day, we started to be aware of what
those thoughts were and labelling them to ourselves. “Now I am worrying about
the future (everything I need to do at work); now I am blaming myself for something
in the past (I wish I hadn't said that); now I am getting stressed about things
I can’t change (my train is late again and there are so many people at this
station).” Becoming aware of my thinking made me realise two things- firstly I
think about a lot of random stuff! And secondly, I have a pattern of thinking
about possible disaster scenarios that will probably never happen ("what if all
those cars fall off the back of that lorry?") Mindfulness is great because it
teaches you to be kind to yourself when you’re recognising all of this, so it’s
not a matter of a voice in your head telling you how stupid you are for
thinking like this. Instead, it’s a comfort to be able to tell yourself “it’s
ok, it’s just me thinking about random disasters that aren't actually going to happen again!” Since being aware of it, I've
found I can be much more focused with my thoughts and therefore more efficient in
my thinking. It’s also a very calming experience to allow yourself not to over-worry
about the past or the future.
Appreciating right now
Another aspect of mindfulness is its focus on this moment,
right now. I hadn't appreciated just how much time I spend thinking about the
past and the future, whilst just living on ‘auto pilot’ and not appreciating the
present moment. One of the loveliest things we did on the mindfulness course
was walking through Regent’s Park in London, just spending time in the present
moment. I lived in London nine years and I've been to the park many times but I've
never experienced it like I did that day! This will probably sound very
hippyish to those of you who aren't mindfulness converts, but I was amazed how
much I enjoyed spending a couple of hours just walking around the park, taking
in the plants, the trees, watching the squirrels, listening to the sounds and noticing
the smell of the air. I didn't think about what I needed to do later, or think
about the past; I just lived in the present moment. It was such a calming and
pleasant experience. I can really see how doing this can help improve mental well-being because there is so much to appreciate and enjoy in the present moment. Although doing it for two hours is a bit unrealistic in
everyday life, this is something you can easily do for five or ten minutes as
you walk anywhere (it doesn't have to be a beautiful park!)
SOS breathing exercises
Many people who do mindfulness do so to help them with
mental or physical health problems (although it really does have benefits for
everyone). I learnt many breathing exercises and mediation exercises but one of
the simplest was a three minute “SOS” breathing exercise. This one is for use
when you’re suffering from physical pain, or when you feel yourself getting
stressed, or even to prepare yourself for a challenging situation (like a tough
meeting at work). The exercise can be done anywhere; I've done it many times on
an over-packed tube train! It is in three parts. Firstly, be aware of how your
body is “grounded” – e.g. your feet grounded to the floor, or your back and
legs against a bed if you’re lying down. Notice how your body feels right now;
is it tense, relaxed, energised? You don't need to try and change it, just be aware of how it is. Secondly, bring your attention to your breath
as it enters your nose. Just notice how it goes in and out; be aware of the temperature
of the air, how it feels, how it sounds. Focusing on your breath really gets
you thinking about this moment right now. Thirdly, imagine that each breath you
take is filling your whole body to the tips of your toes and fingers. It’s
amazing how relaxing this feels - especially if you've tired your mind out by worrying about something endlessly. The whole thing should only take a few
minutes, but can take longer if you like. No one even needs to know you're doing it. Apparently doing an exercise like this actually activates the body’s
parasympathetic nervous system, which reverses the effect of the sympathetic
nervous system (our fight or flight response that makes us feel anxious).
I hope that's got you thinking about the benefits of letting your mind take regular breaks (however short!) at this busy time of year. You'll feel happier for it, you'll likely make better decisions and cope better with life's stresses, and your body will be healthier too. Wishing you all a relaxing and happy Christmas! xxx
