Legs 11

Over the last four days I’ve noticed some muscle weakness in my right leg. I tried to ignore it and hoped it was my imagination, but when I felt unsteady on the stairs this morning I had to face up to it.  When I first found out I had multiple sclerosis, one of my greatest fears was losing the use of my legs. This may sound odd but my legs have always given me self confidence- if you’ve ever partied with me you know I love nothing more than dancing in high heels and short skirts!! Now I’m more at peace with the idea that I might not alway have the use of my legs, but I am determined to do what I can to stay active and strong as long as possible.

On the plus side, this is an old symptom coming back rather than a new relapse. I have a bit of a sore throat (hopefully not covid round 2, as I’m pretty sure I had it back in March) and I know often viral infections can trigger old MS symptoms to reoccur. Whilst I’m normally good with prioritising my health, the last few weeks have been intense. I’ve been working 16 hour days and struggling with finding time to run, with juggling working from home and spending time with my family and our twins who are at home whilst their nursery summer school is closed due to covid-19. I normally aim to get 8 hours sleep a night but the last couple of weeks it’s been more like 6 hours if I’m lucky!

Anyway, this morning I was desperate to run. I had the “use it or lose it” mantra in my head, and I needed to check that my legs would still let me run! As I was running I was reflecting on my priorities and reminding myself the importance of making time for sleep and exercise. Running has been so good for my physical health, and my mental health too. I think my legs might even feel stronger now I sit here after my post-run shower! That might be in my head, but it’s certainly given me a mental boost! I’m now wondering is there anything else I can do to help with muscle weakness?

3 things I've learnt from the Marathon (so far!)

dreamy running scenery!🐑

I can do anything, and so can you J

Until last August, I had never ran more than 10km. One Friday night, Nick said to me “do you fancy doing a half marathon next week?” I said “no way! I couldn’t do that!” You see, for my whole life I’ve thought as myself as not at all sporty. I was pretty useless in P.E. at school, can barely hit a tennis ball, and my family still mock me for how many years it took me to ride a bike! However Nick persuaded me to give the half marathon a go, and the following Wednesday I ran the furthest I’d ever ran: my first half marathon. That night I was exhausted but also on top of the world! I had done something I never felt I could achieve. That same evening, it was me who suggested to Nick that we apply for the London Marathon. Having thought I couldn’t run a half marathon a few days before, suddenly I believed I could do anything.

‘Training’ is more motivating than exercise

The last few months of training for the London Marathon have been a brilliant experience. I have got more in touch with my physical strength, and love to notice myself getting fitter and healthier. One thing I have found is that “training” for a considerable challenge is vastly more engaging and enjoyable than “exercise” – which for me normally involved a bit of treadmill in the gym, with no real goal other than maybe to lose a pound or two. For anyone struggling to make time for exercise, I would really recommend switching to training instead!

Happy running

I feel physically stronger, but the real eye-opener is the difference that running makes to my mental wellness. I mostly run outside and try to be mindful of the scenery and the fresh air in my lungs. Sometimes I start running and my mind is so busy with anxiety and going over my mental to-do list. After a while, I try to focus on how my body is feeling and the people and environment as I run past. I noticed it’s typically about 6km before I let go of all my distracting thoughts and anxiety and focus on the run (good job I’ve been doing long runs!) On the days I’ve been running I notice that even when the run is over, I have more energy and a greater sense of positivity too J

Silver Lining

You've heard the expression "every cloud has a silver lining" ...right?

Well, MS has certainly felt like a serious cloud at times over the last few years. At times it has been a small cloud on an otherwise blue and sunny day, and at other times it has seemed like an ominous black storm cloud threatening to explode at any moment. The worst times have been when the sky appeared unpredictable- leaving me questioning and trying not to fear the worst.

Today whilst running after work and gazing at the sprawling purple sunset, I speculated that I have finally found the 'silver lining' of the MS cloud that abruptly appeared in my life a few years ago. Last week, Nick and I completed our first ever half marathon. I was brimming with an overwhelming sense of achievement; given that no one has ever described me as 'sporty' (far from it!) and I have never before won a medal for any sporting achievement. But the best bit about the achievement was that 10 years ago, I would NEVER have done it! I would never even have considered it, nor would I have ever believed I could do it.

Experiencing MS symptoms was my wake up call to treating my body better, and taking my health more seriously. Although I may have not looked unhealthy before, I barely exercised, ate a pretty poor diet, and always prioritised partying over sleep ;) Today, I eat a plant-based vegan gluten-free diet (a vegan version of the Overcoming MS approach), I meditate, I exercise and run regularly, and most importantly I try to be thankful every single day. There is nothing like a chilling MRI result to spur you into living your live to the absolute fullest and appreciating every second! Overall I am happier, healthier and stronger than I ever was before I had my first MS symptom, and that is a brilliantly shiny silver lining :)

My next step is to put my mental and physical energy to good use; tonight I submitted my application to the London Marathon (something I really never believed I would or could do before!) -  my goal is to continue improving my fitness whilst raising money to help others with MS at the same time! x

Lucy - Follow my journey on @recoverbynature

Injections one year on...

When I see people I haven’t seen for a while they often ask “how’s your health?” which is so kind- and I am so glad that I can honestly answer “I’m really well, thanks!” Saying that, it’s been quite a journey since I last wrote. So here is an update…

In my last post, I spoke about my MS diagnosis in July 2017. I was really taken aback by the diagnosis, as I had been feeling so well, and in particular I felt like I had really dodged the bullet of a relapse after pregnancy (which can be common). When my neurologist gave me the diagnosis, he advised that I should start medication. I was hesitant. I felt so well, and believed that my diet and lifestyle had enabled me to feel healthy and in control of my symptoms, and also the potential side effects of the various medications were quite scary to me.

But just two months after my last post I was experiencing what would become the first of three relapses within six months. The first was a strange off-balance sensation of drunkenness, the second was a deadness in my leg, and the third and most scary was double vision (reminiscent of my first ever symptoms, but in the other eye). I resisted the medication route as much as I could, but by the time my vision went double I was begging the nursing team for an appointment to begin injecting myself with Copaxone. I thought about writing down my thoughts at the time, but honestly I was feeling so scared about the frequent symptoms, and also feeling like a failure in the sense that I had not been able to overcome this disease with diet and lifestyle alone.

Today marks almost a year since I’ve been taking Copaxone (and its generic form Brabio), injecting myself three times weekly. You may know about my needle phobia (not even got my ears pierced and a frequent fainter at the sight of a needle) so that was quite a hurdle to overcome! Nick has been an incredible help in injecting me in harder-to-reach spots, and also making a joke about it all J I’ve not given up on my diet- in fact my neurologist even advised that I continue with it as he also believed that it was helping to manage symptoms.

Mostly I have been totally well since March 2018, with the odd strange feeling here and there. Recently I have had a couple of winter colds, which has coincided with some old symptoms flaring up again. The worst thing about the injections (apart from the injecting itself!) is the bruising all over my arms, legs and bottom. The extent of the bruising has made me consider changing my medication, as it is getting difficult to find a clear spot for a new injection. I still find the medication options such an overwhelming situation to be in. The nature of MS is so unknown. Mostly I am totally well and you would never know to look at me what might be going on within my nervous system. But at the same time, there is a chance that this disease can spark so much (potentially life-changing) damage, if I am able to avoid that wouldn’t I want to? I find it almost impossible to make sense of it and to weigh up the known risks of medication against the fairly unknown future symptoms.

For now, what I wrote before about being grateful still stands. The whole experience has made me much more focused about the life I want to lead and a greater sense of urgency around the impact I want to have on this world. Every night Nick, our daughters and I say “thank you prayers” listing various things we are grateful for that day. This is one of my favourite parts of the day (especially when the girls are thankful for eating chocolate cake!) and reminds me that there is just so much for which to be grateful J

Two things I am grateful for (most of the time!)

I've got MS. And I am grateful!

On Wednesday this week, I found out that I have MS (multiple sclerosis). It was quite a shock, staring at my brain scan showing multiple spots of inflammation and scar tissue, given I have been feeling well. You may know that I have been following a strict diet (including no gluten, dairy and meat, no caffeine and *almost* no alcohol) for three years, since I first had swelling in my brain that triggered double vision. I had hoped that my new diet and lifestyle (featuring more meditation and fewer hangovers) would be enough to keep me healthy, so I was gutted to hear the neurologist confirm MS. But when the initial shock subsided, I reminded myself that I am totally fine. More than that; this whole experience has been a blessing.

There may be no cure to MS, but it certainly isn’t a death sentence. When I consider the variety of atrocities going on in the world, I am incredibly fortunate. I am grateful for this whole experience because it has been a wake-up call for me. Pre-2014, I casually lived my life as if it would last forever. I burned the candle at both ends, drank and ate whatever fitted around my busy life (mainly, peas, cheese, and wine!) and occasionally visited the gym if I was going to be in a bikini any time soon. But seeing your brain in black and white on a computer screen, with the unwelcome addition of scattered scar-tissue does wonders for reminding you of your mortality. The last few years have taken me on a roller-coaster through emotional highs and lows, and have taught me the vital links between mind, body, health and happiness. I’ve learned to truly appreciate my physical and mental health, and invest in their longevity through diet, mindfulness and exercise. So, I won’t let this diagnosis hold me back; on the contrary, I am embracing it for making me sit up and take control of my life.

So please don’t feel sad for me, and please don’t wait for your own wake-up call either! My advice is don’t take your life for granted, and don’t wait until it’s too late. Invest in your body and mind (sleep more, exercise more, eat better, take up meditation, reflect on your purpose and do things each day that make you and others happy…) so that you can be happy and spread happiness for longer 😊

Happy 2017: How to be happier

Happiness is a topic close to my heart; I’m certain that happiness levels are intrinsically linked to health levels, and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to feel happy?! As 2017 draws close with its connotations of new starts, I thought I’d share with you the three things that have made the biggest difference to my happiness.  

Being thankful every day

Over the last few months, I’ve started a great new habit. Last thing every night, I take time to reflect on everything I’m grateful for that day. No matter how challenging my day has been and how tired I am, I thank God for all my blessings. In fact I’ve found it’s even more beneficial at the end of a tough day! I list my daughters, Nick, and my family and friends by name each night, thinking of each of them as I do, and that alone can really transform how I’m feeling. I’m thankful for my health, house, job, and that we’re lucky enough to live in a relatively safe country. I recall moments from my day (a lovely walk in the countryside with Nick and our girls, a fun lunch with friends) and positive things that have happened to others (that a family member’s operation went well or that a friend is pregnant). I’m loving this new habit because it means I go to sleep with a smile on my face (which also means I sleep better) and I’m more likely to wake up in a positive frame of mind too.

Being thoughtful about media consumption

Like many people, I was in the habit of consuming media in a fairly mindless way: listening to, reading or watching whatever happened to be on my newsfeed or TV. Recently I’ve tried to be more thoughtful about the various screens in front of me, because I found it affected my mood (and productivity). I was spending too much time unintentionally half-watching TV or aimlessly scrolling through social media. These habits are hard to break but I helped myself by deleting apps, and changed my settings on social media so that videos don’t play automatically and I have to actually think to myself ‘do I want to spend time watching this?’ I now only watch TV shows that make me smile or laugh. (You may know that I’ve never been able to handle anything scary, but you wouldn’t believe how much better my TV/film experience is without all the gratuitous violence and depressing storylines!) I hardly ever watch the news anymore, because I decided there is no benefit to anyone of me watching news programmes that are so regularly focused on negativity and shock-value stories. I read the news because I want to stay informed, but only via publications that are more centred on the issues than shock tactics and doom and gloom. When there is a tragic news story I ask myself if I can do something to help, such as make a donation, but I don’t spend hours dwelling on the issue because most of the time me doing that won’t help anyone. I hope that doesn’t sound heartless; I’m not trying to bury my head in the sand or pretend tragedies are not occurring around the world but I’d rather be informed and do something about it, then spend hours just consuming the news reports. I feel the strong focus on the negative gives a warped perception, which is enough to make you despair about the state of the world and lose focus on all the good things.

Spending time helping others

I think this is the one that makes the biggest difference to my happiness. When I spend time helping others, I feel good about myself knowing that I’ve done something unselfishly to make someone else’s life better. I’ve read that there is a second reason why helping others improves our own happiness: helping people less fortunate changes our perspective of how fortunate we are. Most people’s assessment of their own situation is based on a comparison to those around them, and for most of us our circles of comparison are frighteningly small. If I find myself wishing I had a better house/holiday plans/whatever (which makes me miserable) then the chances are I am comparing my situation to friends, neighbours and colleagues in a similar situation to my own. If I look more broadly and consider the whole country, and even the world, I am reminded that compared to most, we're incredibly fortunate in terms of standard of living. Spending time helping others helps to broaden my perspective and reminds me that I am in fact already much more fortunate than many others. Therefore in doing so, I’m making myself happier, and making others happier too. So my resolution for 2017 is to increase my time spent helping others – here’s to spreading some happiness!

Thank you for reading; I’d love to hear what you think and if you have any happiness tips to share! Happy 2017! x

 These two are enough to put a smile on anyone's face!

Recipe - Aubergine Lasagne (dairy free, vegan and gluten free)

I’ve been surprised how many new parents I’ve met recently whose babies have a reaction to cows' milk with all sorts of scary symptoms including bleeding intestines, rashes and problems sleeping. Traditionally, in the UK at least, people have associated dairy with a healthy baby diet (and adult diet) so it can be overwhelming to imagine how to eat well without it. Anyway, having been dairy free for over two years now (and previously a total cheese addict) I am certain that a healthy and tasty life without dairy is very possible! Hearing about all these babies with their issues with dairy has also made me more confident that dairy isn’t the healthy food that we were brought up to believe. I feel loads better and have been MS symptom free since changing my diet to exclude dairy amongst other things. I’m not feeding my babies dairy and have discussed this with various doctors and dietitians now, all of whom have confirmed that there is no concern with a baby not eating dairy, as long as they are getting enough calcium from other sources (which is totally possible).

Anyway this recipe is for all those new mums and dads I’ve met who have recently found themselves living with a dairy-free baby and wondering what they can eat! This lasagne is delicious, filling and comforting, and totally free from dairy (and egg and gluten too). Hope you enjoy it!

Ingredients (enough for 6 portions- can be reheated in the microwave the next day!)

• 3 aubergines
• 3 onions, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 3 tins of plum tomatoes
• ¼ teaspoon dried chilli
• 2 teaspoons dried basil
• 2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 3 tablespoons coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons gluten free flour
• ¾ carton oat milk (or almond milk)
• ½ teaspoon nutmeg
• 10-12 gluten free lasagne sheets
• Olive oil for frying

Method

1. Pre-heat the oven to 180C. Wash and chop the aubergines into circular slices about ½ cm thick. Sprinkle a little salt over them and layer between sheets of kitchen paper for about 10 minutes to remove the moisture.
2. Gently fry the aubergine circles in olive oil for a couple of minutes on each side. They should get a little colour, but there is no need to fully cook them. Remove from the pan and put to one side.
3. Using the same pan, gently fry the chopped onions, stirring regularly. After a few minutes add the chopped garlic and dried chilli and continue to fry until the onions are soft.
4. Add the three tins of tomatoes into the onion mix with another tin-full of tap water. Break up the tomatoes with a wooden spoon as you stir it all in. Add the basil, oregano and salt and pepper to taste too. Once the mixture is boiling, reduce the temperature and leave to simmer for 15 minutes. 
5. While the tomato sauce is simmering, start on the white sauce. Melt the coconut oil in a saucepan over a low heat. Once melted, stir in the flour. Once stirred in, slowly add the milk, stirring continuously. The sauce should thicken quickly, and you’ll be able to add more milk as it thickens.  Add the nutmeg, and salt and pepper to taste. Keep stirring for about 10 minutes in total, adding milk so that your sauce is the consistency of runny honey.
6. Now it’s time to put the lasagne together. You should have enough sauces for two of each layer. First spoon a layer of tomato across the bottom of the dish, using half of your mixture. Next layer the aubergine circles on top. Next use the lasagne sheets to cover the aubergine, then finally cover the lasagne sheets with half of the white sauce. Then repeat with tomato, aubergine, pasta and white sauce.
7. Pop the whole thing in the oven at 180C for an hour. You can also pop it in the fridge and cook the next day if you prefer J